November 12, 2026
They found the blog
A letter arrived this morning from UPWARD's legal team. It was four pages long. It asked me to "cease publishing confidential materials and descriptions of the CEO's physical characteristics." I have never described the CEO's physical characteristics. Read that sentence again.
They also deleted the banned words memo from the staff portal last night. I had a copy. Here it is: stable, stable growth, rein in, gallop, canter, mane, foal, stud, bridle, saddle up, long face, hay. Ask yourself what kind of company needs that list.
The letter was signed by Marcus Bell, General Counsel. Under his signature he'd added a line in pen: "If anyone else has read this, have them write to me directly. m.bell@upward-holdings.com"
I'm not passing that on. Well. I just did. Don't write to him.
November 11, 2026
I have the board folder
Before they disabled my account, I downloaded the board folder. I'm posting it here before their lawyers get to it. I'm not going to tell you what Wendell is. You'll work it out. Start with the first file. It explains everything, and somehow that's the worst part.
PDFboard_minutes_2015-12-22_SPECIAL.pdf
UPWARD, INC. · MINUTES OF A SPECIAL MEETING OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Date: December 22, 2015. Location: Company holiday party, Barn 2.
Present: D. Hale (Chair), G. Penhallow, R. Ashby, Wendell.
1. D. Hale proposed, as a joke for the party, that Wendell be named Chief Executive Officer. Seconded by R. Ashby, laughing.
2. Motion carried, 3 to 1. Wendell was presented with a paper crown. Wendell ate the crown.
3. G. Penhallow asked that the minutes record that he did not find this funny.
Addendum, Dec 28, 2015: The press release announcing the appointment was sent by mistake. Shares rose 312% by Monday morning. Counsel advises that reversing the appointment now would "end the company." The board will revisit the matter in the new year.
Addendum, March 2016: Not revisited.
PDFboard_minutes_2026-08-13_MOTION4.pdf
UPWARD HOLDINGS, INC. · MINUTES OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Item 6. Motion to remove the Chief Executive Officer (motion no. 4). Moved by G. Penhallow. Seconded by G. Penhallow, which the Chair ruled out of order. Seconded by nobody.
14:02 · Mr. Penhallow began presenting a 40-slide deck titled “Concerns.”
14:09 · The CEO walked to the window.
14:10 · The CEO went through the window.
14:11 · Mr. Penhallow asked whether this would be minuted. It is being minuted.
14:50 · The CEO returned through the front entrance, wet, and stood on the ballot box.
14:52 · Shares rose 6% on reports of “decisive leadership.”
14:53 · Motion withdrawn. Mr. Penhallow asked that his objection be recorded. It is recorded here.
Next meeting: Thursday. Glazier booked.
XLSdo_not_open_SETTLEMENTS.xlsx
PDFHR_personnel_file_UPW-00001.pdf
UPWARD PEOPLE & CULTURE · PERSONNEL FILE · CONFIDENTIAL
PDFkey_person_insurance_schedule.pdf
MERIDIAN MUTUAL · KEY PERSON INSURANCE · POLICY SCHEDULE
November 9, 2026
I filed a police report
I went to the police. I'm posting the report because I want a record that I tried.
LEXINGTON POLICE DEPARTMENT · INCIDENT REPORT #26-118204
Complainant: Tyler Brennan, 26.
Complainant states that the CEO of his former employer “is not a person.” Asked what the CEO is, complainant said “you know what he is.” Asked again, complainant said “I'm not allowed to say the word, there's a list.”
Officer contacted UPWARD Communications by phone. Communications stated the CEO was “stretching.”
Officer's note: Advised complainant that this is a matter for the SEC, or possibly a vet. No further action.
November 7, 2026
I was fired for asking one question
For two years I wrote statements for UPWARD's CEO. I never met him. Nobody meets him. You get a memo telling you what he "thinks," and you write it up.
Last week a magazine got a photo. Communications told me to say he was "stretching." I asked what he was stretching. Four minutes later I didn't work there anymore. Security walked me out past the executive floor. It smelled like a barn. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying what it smelled like.
Comments (4)
is this real?? the company is real, I went to a seminar in Phoenix
I worked the Denver keynote. I've seen the wall. Everything in this blog is true.
My dad was the wellness consultant. He says hi. He still can't sit down properly.
This blog contains false and misleading claims. Wendell is a valued leader. Wendell was stretching.